The Karaoke Night of Deep Unspeakable Peril
by ForeheadGoggles
Summary: The Doctor and Rose just want a nice night of karaoke on an exotic planet. Who knew they'd be singing for their lives? Songfic. Possible TenRose. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

The Karaoke Night of Deep, Unspeakable Peril

Summary- The Doctor and Rose just want a nice night of karaoke on an exotic planet. Who knew they'd be singing for their lives? Songfic. Possible Ten/Rose.

PG- Rating is for a bit of language, just to be on the safe side…

Disclaimer- Doctor Who isn't mine. Any songs used in this story aren't mine. This shallow excuse for a plot, well that's mine… Along with Rose's violet boots, but they aren't in my size.

_Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr_

_Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr_

_Squish_

"Oh bugger… Sorry 'bout that!"

_Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr_

_Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr _

Much pedestrian-squishing and _Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr-_ing later, the TARDIS materialized, 50's police box-style, upon the pavement. Red Converse landed lightly on the planet, closely followed by violet boots.

"Doctor, why do I have to wear these boots?"

"I told you twice already, Rose! Here, wearing the color purple shows respect for the sheep! Sheep are a major part of this planet's culture. In fact, they have a whole week, every two months, devoted entirely to sheep-worshiping! It's also interesting to note that when the sheep are shorn for their wool…"

"Why can't _you _wear them?" Rose cut in. "I mean, it's not really my color, I could have just put up my hair in a purple band…"

"Rassilon, Rose! Don't you listen to a word I say? If you're going to sing karaoke on this planet, and _aren't_ interested in spending the next year of your life shearing sheep, you have to wear purple boots! It's tradition that a couple…"

"What?!" Rose exclaimed.

The Doctor turned an exotic shade of pink. "N-not like that. We're not a c-c-couple. You don't want to be a couple, right? I mean…"

"Forget it, Doctor… You're like a little kid asking a girl to dance. Just, uh, go on 'bout the whole purple thing, yeah?"

"Right! It's tradition that a couple… A couple of _friends_, without any sort of romance between them, wear the traditional colors of violet. The female partner wears boots, or socks, and the male wears the tie. And this silly head scarf. I personally, don't understand why a head scarf is so important, makes me look cross-eyed."

Rose smirked as she and the Doctor wandered into the karaoke bar, which seemed to be the most important building on the block. As they entered, the Doctor smiled cheekily and lead her over to the bar, where he ordered two fizzy red drinks.

"Cheers!" he cried, as he clinked glasses with Rose.

"What's this anyways? Looks like cherry pop," Rose questioned.

"A drink, special to this planet, made from the leaves of the Packelea plant. The leaves are shredded, drained, and blended with a combination of sugar, alcohol, and carbonated water."

"So what is it?"

"Alcoholic cherry pop."

Completely at random, both Time Lord and Companion alike sensed, to put it eloquently, a disturbance in the Force.

"Doctor, what's up?"

The Time Lord's eyes seemed to glaze over for a second before he muttered, "Oh bugger."

"What's that supposed to mean…" Rose was cut off by a suspicious rasp of metal, a feeling of deep, unspeakable peril, and a scent of pork-chops. "Doctor?"

"As it happens, purple is _not _a color with which one respects wooly mammals. Actually I'm thinking of the wrong galaxy… Here purple is a sign that you're… Oh. Right," the Doctor turned pink again and continued, a little quieter, "Purple means that you're a prisoner of war, sentenced to death…"

"WHAT?!?!?"

"In all fairness, I believe that's my catch-phrase."

"Doctor!"

"Not to worry, Rose. You see on _this_ planet, you can be freed if you… Uh, sing. Dunno how 'Danny Boy' is gonna prove you're worthy of living but hey. At least we can still go to karaoke night. The stakes are just a wee bit higher."

"You think?"

The Doctor frowned for a minute and stared at his drink. "If this isn't the planet I thought it was, which is a bad sign 'cause I'm almost always right, then the Packelea plant doesn't grow here. Which means that the drink isn't what I thought is was, which is also a bad sign, very bad indeed, because you should never drink and be in dire peril. So….. It's probably not cherry-pop. But the guys here seem human, or at least humanoid, so their general physiology should be at least similar, so it's probably _not_ anything deadly to us. It tastes," the Time Lord paused for breath and a second sip of his drink "like lemons. Oh! I get it! This planet has these brilliant red lemon-like fruits, so it's just lemonade! Wow, I feel a lot better now, knowing that I'm not in danger of keeling over from deadly cherry-pop. Or maybe I am. Maybe-"

"Quiet, prisoner of war who is sentenced to death unless they happen to be a talented singer in which case they may go free!"

A bit late, the Doctor and Rose turned to glance up at their captors. The Time Lord gave another cheeky smile and a little wave.

"Hello there! I'm the Doctor, this is Rose, we are actually not prisoners of war, though we _would_ actually like a chance to sing…"

"Doctor, forget it," Rose interrupted quickly.

The randomly mysterious bad guy gave a deep sigh. He always got the loonies.

_Just throw them onto the stage, have 'em sing a few bars, let 'em go, and head on home. Goddess of dairy products, why did I ever agree to work overtime…_

Despite his bored, and relatively harmless nature, he managed to say gruffly "Up on the stage you two. Alli over there," he gestured to a young, dark-haired girl, "will accompany you on the piano should you need it. Any songs sung that are offensive to the Goddess of dairy products will result in your death. As will singing anything by the Vogons. As will-"

"I think we've got it," Rose muttered wearily.

TBC

Ooooooooooh! Lookie, lookie okey-day? I have a TBC label. I'm proudly pointing to it, if you can't tell. Anyways I'll get the next chapter up sometime, I've already started it… If anyone was wondering, Alli is a made-up character based on my sister.


	2. Orbiting Jupiter

Here's the first actually song chapter of the story. Enjoy. The song is "Orbiting Jupiter" by Cheryl Wheeler. Lovely song. This chapter may get angsty in bits, for reference to the destruction of Gallifrey.

Disclaimer- I don't own Doctor Who. I don't own Cheryl Wheeler. I do, however, own a ticket to a concert of hers (which was awesome by the way, though she didn't sing this). Get this- it was on the same day that the Doctor Who DVD (Series 3) came out over here. Another note, I'm an American who'd rather be English. Anyways, I'll try my best to get the words right but I may or may not be successful.

The main reason this was written was because I cannot make music videos. If you want to take the song for a video, be my guest. Just tell me so I can watch it.

Speaking/doing, **Singing, **_Thinking_

"Guess I'll go first then," the Doctor leapt gracefully upon the stage and gave an elegant spin to face the audience. "I'll be singing a little tune by the lovely Cheryl Wheeler, called 'Orbiting Jupiter'. Alli, do you know it?"

The little piano player stared at him in shock. "Of course I know it. You're like, my sister's hero! She says that it's your theme-song and that every time she sees the…" Alli clapped a hand over her mouth to avoid shattering both the Fourth Wall and the Doctor's sanity.

Luckily for Alli, her Who-obsessed sister, and the rest of the galaxy, the Time Lord seemed to not notice this little slip. Instead he made a big show of throat-clearing and tongue-wiggling.

With a nod and point from the Doctor, Alli began to beat out a steady rhythm on the piano, and the Doctor started to sing…

**Orbiting Jupiter with telescopic eyes **

**Floating in the wonder of the weightless world **

**Watching all the planets rise**

_And fall. Not only Gallifrey, others too. So many other planets gone…_

**Gazing through the asteroid belt **

**Out beyond night and day **

**And seeing with my own eyes **

**The cosmic ballet **

**Ganymede and Io rising**

_Ah yes, Io. Such a sad story for a lady like her. Io's Leather Products… That's where my last regeneration got that coat… I think. _

**Talk about a hallowed moon **

**I am drifting wide-eyed listenin' **

**To the static in the solar tune **

**There's comfort in starlight **

**In moonlight guiding my way home**

_If it was still there to go back to._

**I'm falling for midnight **

**For lovely worlds of ice and stone **

**And I am alone tonight**

_Not as alone as most guess. I have Rose. Dear Rose._

**Orbiting Jupiter **

**And sailing on my own **

**Headed for the heavens of the blue green world **

**I'm dreaming of home**

_Just dreams._

**Witness to the miracle **

**I could testify all night **

**Rolling in the blue tide **

**Howling in the moonlight**

_Remember the werewolf, Rose? Wasn't it incredible?_

**Gazing on the gift we're given **

**A mystery from a magic storm **

**Turning to the secret rhythm **

**Nestled in the spiral arm **

**There's comfort in starlight**

_There is you know. Starlight is very beneficial to one's mental health._

**In moonlight guiding my way home **

**I'm falling for midnight **

**For lovely worlds of ice and stone **

**And I am alone tonight. **

**I want to see the world through other eyes **

_Got my wish didn't I? New eyes, new regeneration._

**Some electron in the Milky Way. **

**I want to meet a man Orion's size **

**I want to hear the giant lyre play **

**And Canis bay **

_Oh Canis… That __**was**_ _a fun trip. If Rose and I get out of this alive we should go back. Maybe have tea with Helen again…_

**There's comfort in starlight **

**In moonlight guiding my way home **

**I'm falling for midnight **

**For lovely worlds of ice and stone **

The Doctor's voice faded out hauntingly as Alli finished up the song. He glanced up with a shaky grin in Rose's direction.

"How'd I do?" the Time Lord asked innocently.

Rose seemed at a loss for words, "I didn't know you could **sing** Doctor! It was… it was… Marvelous!"

"You have passed the first test," the Mysterious Bad Guy said ominously.

"Your turn, Rose!" the Doctor exclaimed with a brilliant smile.

TBC

There we go. Ended up a bit more angsty than I'd originally intended. Drat those emotional moments. Drat practically falling asleep at the computer. Drat the computer for dying before I could see the end of "The Pirate Planet." Review if you choose, and remember- Reviews beget more reviews. You review me, I review you, we're both overjoyed and life is good. Just one thing that's become a bit of a problem, I promise to review my reviewers and they don't write for any fandoms I know. In which case I probably won't review you, but I will perhaps PM you. Till next time good readers!


	3. Beach House on the Moon

Here is the second song! It's "Beach house on the Moon" by Jimmy Buffet. I know its more of a father and son type of song, but I just couldn't resist the mention of time travel.

Disclaimer- I had a dream I owned Doctor Who. But then I woke up and saw this in front of me…

Here's a random story that goes along with this. See, Jimmy Buffet's birthday is on Christmas. When I was little, in Sunday School, the lady asked if we knew whose birthday was on December 25. I proudly exclaimed "Jimmy Buffet!"

It's good to know my family takes religion so seriously.

Another note. I am aware that Billie Piper is also a singer. So chances are the ending wouldn't actually happen. But if I'm going to do what I plan to with the next chapter, it must. Oooh, cryptic…

Rose gave the Doctor one last worried glance and stepped up to the stage.

"Um… I'll sing… Beach House on the Moon. I think. Alli?"

The little pianist nodded gleefully and began to tap away at the instrument, drawing an oddly guitar-like sound from it. Rose cleared her throat and began with a slightly wavering voice…

**Cameron's getting logical  
A Vulcan in disguise**

_That'd be a sight. A Vulcan Doctor…_**  
The mysteries of the night  
Are putting sparkles in his eyes**

_He's always filled with such wonder. Like a little kid._**  
He's looking for sound reasoning  
But the best that I can do  
Is this transcendental story  
That I'll pass along to you**

_The Doctor sure loves stories…I remember when he told me that one time…_

Pass the falls they call Victoria  
Down the river named the Nile

_You and Cleopatra, what happened?_**  
Drifts a tiny little handmade boat  
It's shaped just like a smile  
And steered by a magician**

_Best way to describe him… A wandering magician._**  
With the knowledge that he needs  
To keep him on his destined course **

_Is that what it is then? Destiny? Seems a bit… Random. Beyond destiny perhaps._**  
Pass the crocodiles and reeds**

He's the admiral of the ocean  
The lone eagle in the sky

_And he is alone… Even with me…_**  
He gave me my first sextant  
And he taught me how to fly**

_Maybe he will… Someday._****

It's been quite a lengthy passage  
From the dawn of time 'til now

_And I should know. We've gone so far back…_**  
He has weathered the infernal storms  
In his trusty petite dhow**

_Otherwise known as the TARDIS._**  
He has soared above colossal waves,  
Sailed the endless sea**

_But he's done so much more than that._**  
Sometimes he resembles you   
Sometimes he looks like me**

_Handy thing, regeneration._****

I saw him through my telescope  
On a cloudless night in June

_Was it June? I don't think it was…_**  
As he rested between voyages  
At his beach house on the moon**

There are windows to the galaxies

_That's what we need. A big window…_**  
And hallways to the past  
There are trapdoors to the future  
And a splintered ancient mast**

_Where'd you even find that?_**  
There are relics from Apollo trips  
When the earth men came to play  
And a hammock from a distant star**

_Reminds me of that day we went to the beach… We should go back there…_**  
Out in the Milky Way**

He's the admiral of the ocean  
The lone eagle in the sky 

_What was he called again? The lonely god?_**  
He gave me my first sextant   
And he taught me how to fly  
I saw him through my telescope**

_Or rather through the window…_**  
On a cloudless night in June  
As he rested between voyages  
At his beach house on the moon**

_Wouldn't surprise me in the least._****

A striped bass breaks the surface  
As the sunset fades away  
And our journey from the sea of storms

_With the Oncoming Storm…_**  
Takes us home besides the bay  
We go fishing in the ocean  
We go traveling back in time**

_And forwards…_**   
Like the song says teach your children  
To go fishing with their mind  
**_Sometimes literally. That was fun…_

**  
Cameron's contemplating  
I'm not sure just what he thinks**

_Just like I can't tell what the Doctor thinks…_**  
Is my dad some kind of lunatic  
With his stories and high hijacks**

_The Doctor sure can tell some amazing stories…_**  
Then he says when I get old and gray  
And feel like I'm marooned  
He will take me in his rocket-ship**

_Or his TARDIS…_**   
To that beach house on the- **

**  
**Rose was rather pleased with her singing until this last note. A slight sparkle caught her eye and, distracted, she forgot the last word.

Alli tried to make up for the mistake by playing loudly to cover it, but the damage was done. The song was ruined and they were going to die for it…

A/N- Oooh! An attempt at a cliff-hanger. I know this chapter probably wasn't the best, but I was trying not to make it as angst-y as the last one and, as a result, it became a bit random.

You know my review rule, so I'm not typing it out again.


	4. Get in Line

Third song! I struggled for ages for the right song for this particular character… I still don't think it's the best one out there, but it'll do. It has fewer words between the lyrics I hope… Anyways, it's "Get in Line" by the Barenaked Ladies… Appropriate band name for (censored to avoid spoiling the surprise, although I bet you've guessed it)

Disclaimer- We have been over this before officer. I'm _allowed_ to steal from 'Who-dom for a while, and I promise to give it back when I'm done…

Sorry about the wait, but school has been evil enough to make the Master jealous, and I've been unrealistically busy. Christmas is coming…

Rose inched closer to the Doctor as he reached for the Sonic Screwdriver.

"Um… Doctor…?"

The Time Lord smiled brightly at her. "Excellent singing!"

_Is he being sarcastic? He doesn't sound it…_

Scooting still closer to her friend, Rose caught sight of something again… A sparkle! The same one that distracted her… And was it just her, or was this sparkle growing? And multiplying…? With a _**pop**_ the bits exploded outwards in a blinding light-show.

The Doctor and Rose shielded their eyes against the light, and caught a glimpse of a coat. A very familiar coat.

With a curse not entirely appropriate given the rating of this fan fiction, a figure stumbled forward into the light.

"Jack!" Rose cried loud enough to break the sound barrier, throwing herself into the Captain's arms.

"I missed you too," he muttered sarcastically, hugging her back. Glancing up the Doctor, he said approvingly, "You've regenerated…"

"And you've just appeared in an explosion of glitter. Not that I'm complaining…"

"Of course not," Jack said cheekily. "It seemed like you may have a bit of a problem, and I wasn't doing anything important so…"

"You got pulled here by a random shift in the current of the fabric of reality didn't you?"

"Do you want me to sing or not?"

The Doctor gestured for Jack to go on and he leapt upon the stage, winking at a random passerby.

"Barenaked Ladies 'Get in Line' if you would…"

Alli got very red about the ears and started to tap away…

**Everywhere I go someone's tryin' to be my girlfriend's best friend  
I'm tryin' to pretend I'm relaxed but I'm playin' castanets with my knees  
I try to be cool and give her space  
But a guy's always there ready to jump right up and take my place**

_Or her place… Not complaining._**  
**

**Everyone in this room seems to want to make a big fool out of me.**

Everybody open your mouth  
Everybody just say ahhhhh

_Three guesses to what I'm suggesting Doc…_

**  
Everything will be all right  
If you play along**

Everywhere I go there's someone in a trench coat staring at me

_And Converse…_

**  
When I'm not at home I'm sure someone's rummaging through my trash  
Whatever could they want from me  
Is it just a part of a giant government conspiracy?**

_Not to be trusted, those government conspiracies…_

**  
I gotta go see my doctor about this itchy pentagram-shaped rash.**

_Or not… It may be slightly awkward to explain its location the Doctor…_****

Everybody open your mouth  
Everybody just say ahhhhh  
Everything will be all right  
This won't hurt at all

_How many times have I heard that one?_

****

Everybody get in line  
Everybody turn and cough  
Everything will be all right  
If you just lay off

_Or not. Your choice entirely._****

**Dictate a memo to myself  
Try to find if I'm the only one in complete health**

_Perhaps the Doctor would be willing to confirm that…_

**  
Consult contemporaries if there's some to see  
There really isn't anyone who's in my league**

_That's a depressing prospect._****

Every night at Elaine's someone thinks they have to find beyond me  
I try to take three deep breaths as I lock and arm my mini-van

_One time I drove a mini-van! One time!_

**  
Everyone says I'm looking great**

_Obviously._

**  
But it's hard to stand-up let alone to try to concentrate  
I wish that everyone that I knew hadn't sold out to the man**

Everybody open your mouth  
Everybody just say ahhhhh  
Everything will be all right

_Again, how many times have I heard that one…_

**  
This won't hurt at all**

Everybody get in line  
Everybody turn and cough   
Everything will be all right  
If you just lay

_Take your choice of location._

**  
Everything will be all right  
If you just lay  
Everything will be all right  
If you just lay off**

Jack finished his song with a sweeping bow and a brilliant smile.

The Menacing Evil Character lowered his weapon and began to slowly clap, won over by Jack's charisma and singing ability.

"Because of this fellow's talent, you will be allowed to live," the Menacing Evil Character said darkly.

Rose leapt into the air with a shout of joy. A shout that was cut depressingly short as their captor spoke again.

"On one condition."

"Come on!" Jack exclaimed in frustration. "I was dragged through time and space to sing that song and it still wasn't good enough?!?!"

"You must all sing one more song. Together."

TBC

So… Did you like it? Remember…

1) I've never seen Torchwood so I know very little of Jack's character.

2) I'm feeling extremely depressed so I'm struggling to write a (hopefully) funny story.

3) I'm exhausted and braindead.

Other than that I'm rather pleased with how it turned out. Here's a little math problem for you… What is one story squared plus one review minus one lurker equal? If you guessed a review for you too, you'd be right!


	5. Imagine

Fourth and final song! It's been fun, but I'm ready for something new and exciting… Too much of a good thing… Fear not! If you really like these I'll probably pop a few up every now and again. This is the chapter where everything is wrapped up. The song is "Imagine" by John Lennon. I liked it because the Doctor is a peaceful character and it had no music videos…

Disclaimer- If I owned Doctor Who, Doomsday would have never happened, Ten/Rose would be completely canon and those of us unfortunate enough to live in America wouldn't have to wait so long for the new season.

By the way, I heard a rumor that Rose might be coming back… Any confirmations? No spoilers please, I'd just like to know if she's returning.

On we go!

"A g-group song?" Rose began to stutter in nervousness.

Our Menacing Evil Character heaved a deep sigh. "Are you having a problem with the word of 'group' or the word of 'song'?"

Instinctively the troubled singers formed a peculiar rhombus (not an easy feat considering there were only three of them) to discuss the predicament.

"Trip them and run!" was Jack's first impulse. "We can make it back to the TARDIS!"

"Now Jack, that's cheating! After all, we've come all this way… But what should we sing?"

"Something peaceful," Rose suggested. "Maybe the Beatles? Mum loves them…"

"Imagine!" Jack exclaimed joyfully, but out of character.

The Doctor cast him a sharp glance and the ex-Time Agent's brilliant smile faded slightly. With a grin and a shrug the Time Lord muttered, "Just as long as we don't sing 'Soak up the Sun'. It's ruined once you see a purple Dalek singing it…"

If either of his companions were puzzled by this comment they didn't show it. Instead, they spent a brief moment in discussing the song. Exactly one C-scale, three high-fives, and one slap later they sauntered onto the stage.

With a nod to Alli, the Doctor began the much loved tune…

**Imagine there's no heaven  
It's easy if you try**

_Religious idea of heaven I'm guessing. Not the planet…_

**  
No hell below us**

_Well obviously it's not below us…_

**  
Above us only sky  
Imagine all the people  
Living for today...**

The Doctor's voice faded out and was replaced by Jack.

****

Imagine there's no countries  
It isn't hard to do

_Countries are annoying. Too many rules…_

**  
Nothing to kill or die for  
And no religion too**

_Again, with annoying_

**  
Imagine all the people  
Living life in peace...  
**

All three singers joined together for the chorus.

**  
You may say I'm a dreamer  
But I'm not the only one  
I hope someday you'll join us  
And the world will be as one**

Rose continued the song alone with…****

Imagine no possessions  
I wonder if you can

_That causes half the problems anyways…_

**  
No need for greed or hunger  
A brotherhood of man  
Imagine all the people  
Sharing all the world...**

As the three companions began the chorus they were shocked to hear some guards singing along.****

You may say I'm a dreamer  
But I'm not the only one  
I hope someday you'll join us  
And the world will live as one

With this final note Rose, Jack, and the Doctor bowed dramatically to a wildly cheering audience.

"Beatles… Very efficient," the Doctor said triumphantly. He turned the Menacing Evil Character with a confident smirk.

The villain just shrugged and applauded along with the crowds, deeply impressed.

Sharing their customary victory-hug, the Doctor, Rose, and a now slightly jealous Jack made their way slowly to the bar. After all, they never did get to finish those drinks…

The… Momentary pause in adventuring which could not be technically considered the end.

I do hope you found that a satisfying conclusion. Twas a bit difficult, doing the switch, so don't be too upset.

I tried to incorporated responses to a couple of reviews into this… Meaning if you were the one who left the review, you might pick up on it…

Speaking of which… This is my hopeful smile, in case you can't see it…

As you all know, Christmas is coming. And with Christmas comes the Christmas story that I've been planning for around three weeks. It will be around two chapters long, I think, with some possible Ten/Rose.


End file.
